Sometimes anxiety, especially social anxiety is your best friend! Anxiety in all of its forms often has us focused on things that make little sense, are not based in reality and can even be downright silly in retrospect. This keeps us from focusing on the truly scary bits of what we are smack dab in the middle of!!
So last week I shared with you my Dr.'s comedic bedside manner (not) and how I am feeling a little cranky. Part of my state of perpetual disgruntled-ness was due in part to the fact that after my visit with the comedic oral surgeon I had to have a CT Scan! For crying out loud! This bit of fresh hell hearkened me right back to the days of when I was pregnant with my 2nd child and was told to get an ultrasound.
It was January of 1992. There I was at the OB's office having just plunked down $300.19 in cash for the ultrasound. The handsome and talented Mr. A. wanting to show is support was with me at the ultrasound opening the drawers, playing with the blinds! The OB stepped in and the exam seemed to going along fine. We even feigned adoration at the image on the monitor while gawking at something that looked like Albondigas soup preparing to boil. Then the world stopped momentarily for the practitioner to utter these words..."I am unable to see your baby's brain due to the thickness of your abdominal wall" There was a silence that followed where the only sound heard was my husband whispering to himself "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh, here we go." With a toothy yet I'm quite certain frightening smile I suggest as gently as I can that while I appreciated his painful grasp of the OBVIOUS that for $300.19 perhaps he could check just one more time! But I digress.
So I am back at the comedic oral surgeons office being told that due to a bit of something that has alluded the CT scan inside my head, I now need to go see the Ear, Nose and Throat person! They need to rule out this and that. I hear none of it. When I read the CT scan report I cannot focus on what it all might mean. And WHY you may ask? Because of my rich and colorful history and partnership with anxiety. Social anxiety to be exact. The only things that I can focus on is that I will have to have a tube go up through my nose with a camera attached to it! I am now fully fastened in on the bullet train to "what if they take photos of ack, things inside my nose that I have been unable to remove appropriately via tissues?" And what if these photos end up on Youtube????
See what I mean? It's my best friend. I have no doubt whatsoever that I am as healthy as a horse on a Spring day. Now, if I can just survive a look in my nostrils I can rest!
Anxiety it's a beautiful thing.
This blog posts shout outs and thanks go to Salt Lake City, UT! Do me a favor and go have lunch at Siegfried s for me. Also hello and thanks for the support from FRANCE! I just watched Midnight in Paris and I cannot WAIT to visit your amazingly beautiful country.
Until next time. Be well, be kind and have a bit of chocolate in case you can't.